I just had one of the most divine experiences that I think a person can have.
My friend Shane made this old tire full of cement as a stabilizer for our laundry line in the summer. In the winter, it sits and collects snow. Right now, in this crazy winter we're having, the snow has melted and it is the only concrete in our yard so I sat on it. I sat on it because it's sunny and warm and my kittens like it when I hang outside with them and most importantly, I sat on it because I had a fresh coconut!
Inside my house, I used a sharp knife to shear off just enough of the top to clear the hard outer shell, but not so much as to make the juice explode. In my good, dumb luck, I ended up shearing the coconut top off without breaking the top layer of coconut meat! I grabbed my titanium camping spoon and took it all outside to sit on my warm chunk o' cement.
As I popped the spoon through the top layer of the tender, white meat, the coconut water splashed out all over my jeans. No worries to be had, the jeans are from Browse & Buy in Jackson and cost a mere $4. By the way, I love that lady over there who is just my size and gets tired of her super fancy jeans on a regular basis. Shout out to the Jackson jeans lady!!
So...anyone who is willing to enjoy a can of coconut juice for $2.99 (or more) would be out of their mind not to run on down to Barrels & Bins right now and buy a real live coconut for $4.29! It takes a sharp knife and some elbow grease to get the top cut off but Holy Hannah is it worth it!!!
The inside of a coconut is so full of juice that when you shake it, you might think it's hollow. When you drink it, well, hold on to your hats, people, because it is an amazing, divine, glorious treat! (Not to mention chock full of electrolytes and isotonics!).
As if the incredible nectar of the coconut juice were not enough in itself, there is more! When the vessel is empty, you get to smack it down hard multiple times on a chunk of cement (see how all the random info finally ties together??!) until it breaks open and then use your titanium spoon (because it won't bend under pressure!) to scoop out the most incredible, juicy, soft, delicious and light flesh of the coconut.
I haven't had a coconut like this since India. I would drink a coconut there anytime and every time I saw one. Of course, the experience is a little different in India. There is a man or a woman with a cart full of green-colored coconuts. You stop by and they show you on their hands how much they want for it (by touching each finger to the thumb. Fingers are divided into three parts based on each chunk of finger between knuckles. If they need more than 4, they go back to the first finger and touch the next knuckle chunk down. I got really good at watching hands, not faces in that bartering process!). When the agreed upon price was paid, the coconut vendor would take out a huge machetti and hack the top off the coconut. They would toss in a neon colored straw and wait for you to drink it up. Only once did someone bust it open and let me eat the flesh. The rest of them told me there was none and demanded the coconut shell back. Now I know why!!!
If you're not sold on a fresh coconut right now, all I can say is, The more for me! I'm headed back to B&B prontito!!!